what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
