Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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