what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Found the puke drawer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
