I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
