just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
