Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
