oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
