She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
