I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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