I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
