Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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