you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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