Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Boobs are out for the taking
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
