I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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