doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
