with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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