just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
