the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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