Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
