No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
