But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
