guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
