you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
