AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
