I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
