my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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