My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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