I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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