The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
