Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
