perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
