we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
