Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
