would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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