im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
