Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
