They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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