Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
