"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
