i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
