turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize
