I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
