So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
