It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just threw up on my dentist
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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