i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
