Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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