it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
