i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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