WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
