flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
