It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
