i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
