Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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