Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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