Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
