My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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