I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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