So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've blown a few things in my day
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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